One in every 1000 children in the UK is born with a hearing problem. 9 out of 10 deaf children are part of hearing families. Most of these families have never met a deaf child before and do not know what to expect.

Why is my child deaf?

Parents have many feelings when they are told a child is deaf - including shock, anger, guilt, frustration and fear of the unknown. All these are natural and understandable. The first step towards helping your child is to accept the fact that he is deaf.

How can I communicate with him?

Remember that this is the same child you had before you knew he was deaf. Go on talking naturally to him, singing nursery rhymes and playing with him as you did before. With the right hearing aids, he will learn to enjoy all these things just as other children do. He may not seem to understand straight away. Give him time. He will thrive on your love and attention

Will he be able to talk?

With modern hearing aids, your child can learn to talk. Children learn to talk because people listen to them and talk and play with them. You may have to wait a long time for his first words, but he is learning as you talk to him. He can learn as other children do but it may take longer.

Does he have to wear hearing aids?

Almost all children, however deaf, will benefit from modern hearing aids. They cannot give him normal hearing but with them he does not have to live in a world of silence. You can help your child by making sure he wears his hearing aids all the time. Make sure you are shown how they work and how you should check them at home every day.

Will we have to learn sign language?

Today's deaf children and their families do not need to depend on sign language. With powerful modern hearing aids and the help of people talking and playing with them, deaf children learn to speak for themselves and to lead independent lives in a hearing world. It is a choice you have to make - some of the points to consider are set out in the section Choosing to Talk.

What will other people think?

Most people have never met a deaf child. They may sometimes ask you questions which seem silly or even hurtful. They may stare at your child's hearing aids. By talking naturally to your child, you give other people the confidence to talk to him too and you show them that he is just an ordinary child who needs help to hear.

How will a deaf child affect our family?

Although your deaf child will need a lot of your time and attention, remember he is only one member of the family. You should expect him to keep to the same rules for behaviour as your other children. You may be tempted to spoil him and to make too many allowances but this will not help him. You will find that he gradually learns to understand what you want him to do.

Will he get a job?

Deaf people who can talk can do most jobs. Managers, mechanics, bankers, engineers, hairdressers - some of the many occupations successfully followed by deaf people. It will depend upon his talents and his luck - just like everyone else.

Where can we get help?

If you decide to adopt this approach to your deaf child's future, DELTA will give you all the help it can. If you choose another route, the National Deaf Children's Society can normally provide information. Although your child may not yet be of school age, in many parts of the country you will find the teachers of the deaf, part of the Local Education Authority, can help from the very early years. DELTA can provide their telephone numbers if you cannot find them in your local directory.

Do...

• listen to him
• spend time playing and talking with him
• make sure you check his hearing aids every day and that you know where to go for help
• be prepared to wait for your child to talk and meanwhile keep talking with him
• enjoy your child as he learns and grows

Don't....

• shout or slow your speech down or make exaggerated lip movements
• treat him as anything other than your child
• be afraid to ask for help and advice

'Deaf Children Talking - the Parents' Guide to the Natural Aural Approach' provides more information about how to help your deaf child learn to listen and talk.